What's the worst part of eating a vegetable?

...The wheelchair

So we were telling jokes of that nature all last night in the team van. Thx sam for coming up with some good ones. Here are a couple more:

So there are two naked statues in a city park. One male one female, adam and eve stle. They do their statue thing for like 50 years or something. An angel comes down and says, "You two have been such good statues these past years, as a reward I'm going to grant you both 30min of life." So the angel saps them into real human beings. The guy looks at the girl and says, "so...ah, you wanna?" She's like, "heck yes." So they go back into the bushes and there's some rustling going on and they come back out. The angels still there and says to them, "You only used 15min just now, you still have 15min left." So the girl says to the guy, "You wanna do it again?" And the guy says, "Sure, but this time YOU hold the pigeon while I crap on it."

St. Peter gets sick so he decides to call on Jesus to take over manning the pearly gates for him. Jesus is like, "Sure Peter, I can hook you up." So it's kinda a dull day in heaven, not many people dying. Then an old man comes up to the gates. Jesus says, "Why dost thou think I should let thee into heaven." The old man says, "I dunno, I don't really remember much of my life." Jesus says, "Well what do you remember?" The old man says, "I was a carpenter and I had a great son." Jesus softens a bit and says tentatively, "Father?" The old man says, "Pinocchio?"

Well that's good enough for now. If anyone has some jokes they should totally share them.

So I have a rather unfortunate correction to my last post. Apparently my friend emily left out the crucial word "swallow" when she told me that 100 people die a year from ball point pens. But hey, I love the imagination that you all have.

So I think it's settled that I'm going to stay at this online address until at least the end of the year. Although I agree with everyone who thinks it should be "frickin."

Dan you have peaked my interest. I gotta try this new Pepsi out, esp. if it slightly resembles Crystal Clear Pepsi. I'm still pissed off at Pepsi for the Dr. Slice thing. They came out with this great product called Dr. Slice which was like a cherry Dr. Pepper (not to revert back to an old argument, if you prefer you can think of it as a cherrier Dr. Pepper). At the same time they came out with the most attrocious tasting product ever called Blue Pepsi. They advertised Blue Pepsi up the |you know what| and Dr. Slice they didn't even whisper about. Well Dr. Slice is no longer available as far as I can tell, and Blue Pepsi shouldn't be available considering how much it sux.

So I have a really hilarious story to tell you all. We were in Coos Bay, OR like last week sometime. It was beautiful by the way. And we were staying at this totally sweet house with an engilsh style pub inside, a huge deck fenced off by gigantore laurel bushes, a giant fish tank with anemenies and cool stuff, and a sheep dog that was the size of a small pony (okay maybe not quite that big but meh). Anyway, because the people were so cool and the place was so nice they decided to invite the team over to watch some of their Wallace and Grommet episodes. So we finish the last episode and turn off the vcr. The tv is still on though and it is tuned to the mini-series Henry the Eighth on PBS. My host dad Denny leaves the room for a moment and all of us teamers ended up in some fun little tickle/wrestling fest. Denny comes back in and he's gonna ask us a question so we all stop our tickle fighting to listen to him ask, "Does anyone want a drink." I immediately say, "No." But others weren't as quick to respond so in the silence that follows any question, that silence between question and response, we hear this low grunting noise coming from the TV and it's building in intensity. We look at the TV and Henry VII is totally getting a girl doggy style. They showed her bent over something and then his upper body, and there was the grunting. OMG I couldn't believe it. I turned to natalija and I said, "awkward." And then I started laughing and got up and as I was walking out of the room I was like, "Yeah, I think could use a drink, sure." It was the hardest I have laughed so far on team. Denny didn't say anything. I don't think he was comfortable with us yet. He strikes me as the kind of guy who wouldn't feel embarassed about making such a comment though. After two days with this family Denny started wearing his vest with the "Next to Sex Oregon is Best" patch on it. He was funny.

On a more serious note. God has been doing awesome things through prayer lately in my life. I don't know about you all but I always struggle with why pray if God knows what is best for us and is working for those who believe in Him. But yet the Bible tells us to pray. God's been teaching me that he works through prayer lately. It's been rad. Also my team played at this cool inner city church yesterday. We played for K-5th graders. They were awesome. I don't know how telling you about what God is doing in my life got a measily 50 words while the doggy-style story got like 100, but what are you gonna do. I'll probably post more about the ministry on the other site that I'm maintaining this year jasonye.blogspot.com.

I'm gonna put some new pictures up so check em out. And remember they are probably 2 weeks or more old. I've thought about just skipping a bunch but, meh. Maybe soon I'll do that.

In Christ,
jason

"A naked blond walks into a bar, with
a poodle under one arm and a two
foot salami under the other. She
lays the poodle on the table. Bar-
tender says: "I suppose you won't
be needing a drink." The naked
lady says..."